LABZ story ko! =,)

It was the peak of my independence, fresh graduate ako nun, I own my time, I own my money, I own myself. In short sabi nga ng nanay ko para akong aso na nakawala sa kulungan. Seb (sex eye ball), chatting, dating has been a part of my secret activities.

We were on a same company, looking back I can’t even imagine that we ended up being partners. At that time I can’t even say that we can be good friends. There were times that I hate him simply because I don’t like him. Were not even talking to each other in casual way like my other colleagues on that company. In short walang connection. Kahit spark man lng.

We started knowing each other during those times when his 5 year relationship is about to end. I had the courage to step forward and lend my hand to him. Kung kailangan niya ng kausap andito lang ako, kung kailangan niya ng kainuman andito lang ako. The funny thing is I don’t know the big truth about it. Na lalake pla yun. Gaydar sabi nga nila, I started to investigate on my own, read between the lines, get to know him more, analyze the actions and finally it took me the courage to ask.... the exact word is…..

(are you in a same sex relationship?) We just laughed on it and it was the first time that I open up myself to a person without me inviting him to have sex. It feels so good. Relief and at peace. Tuloy and inuman!

I was super sober at that night. I can’t even walk properly. But mind you kahit lasing ako alam ko ang ginagawa ko. Mahina ako pero I can pinpoint things that happen after the grueling sense of alcohol.

In short we had sex…Its not even the greatest that I had….Its not even what I want when I engaged myself into sex….for me it’s a typical thing, nalulungkot siya pinaligaya ko kahit papano. The next day FUCK….i found myself completely naked, I am late with my work and I smell bad. So trabaho muna ako bago ako uwi ng bahay….we communicate also on the same day, I was pretending that it happened and time to move on…pupunta siya ng bahay pinapaayos niya yung laptop niya. Okay punta ka. It’s like a test for me if we will have this feeling of ngkakailangan dahil sa nangyari. I wanted to kiss him at that time. Pinipigilan ko lang ang sarili ko. Sabi naman niya sa akin gusto niya maulit ginawa ko sa kanya. Nothing happened on that day. I made it clear to him na wala ng pangalawa. I belive na maayos pa yung relationship nila.

We started enjoying the company of each other. One time he asked me sa samahan siyang hintayin si BF sa isang coffee shop, I got to know the BF, nag paalam na siya na uwi na sila, okey hinatid ko at nag tri-cycle sila nglakad naman ako pauwi. Suddenly, while walking i found my heart aching, what the hell I am feeling? Binubulong ko sa hangin sa “AKIN KA NALANG”. Tinamaan ako, mahirap ito, pag na in love pa naman ako para akong tanga. His relationship ended that caused him so much. I was there nung mga panahon na ayaw na niyang gumising. In silence minamahal ko na siya habang sinusubukan kong maging kaibigan para sa knaya.. I prayed hard at that time kung itutuloy ko ba o isipin ko muna yung sarili ko. I got an  answer…Mag mahal lang ako ng walang hinihintay na kapalit. Corny? Suicide? Act of stupidity? Yes, but I believe that it is the greatest feeling that you can give to a person. I was blessed by that.

In short everything was in place, after that very meaningful summer vacation with other friends we ended up saying  I love you to each other. Kahit na alam kong mas mahal niya yung past niya minahal ko siya ng buong buo at pinakita ko yun  without holding back, without thingking of myself.
We ended up here in Dubai building our own dreams for each other. Mag asawa na kami. Nagsasama na kami. 4^th year is coming at hindi madali ang mga bagay at sitwasyon sa amin ngayon. I want to fight hard until the very last is consumed in me!