The Devil in Me

10:14 AM December 8, 2011

Dubai

“A lot of people would think na mabait ako kasi tahimik ako, ang hindi nila alam na sa loob ang kulo”

Like any other men like me (di ko nilalahat pero the reality is meron) I enjoy seb. He is aware of it and that I promise to him na di ko na gagawin yun dahil we are on a relationship.(asawa ko na nga eh!)

Nadala ko yun in a long run….i had sexual affairs not only once, twice, thrice. There was this point na months lang ang pagitan. Nahuli niya ako. A lot of times we ended up packing our belongings and leave but at the end of the line we would see each other holding back and that wanted to give it a try. Pinatawad niya ako ng madaming beses. He loves me so much. And I love him so much  that it came to a point na ayaw ko na siyang saktan. Nagising ako pero huli na ang lahat. Di ko siya masisisi kung bakit dina siya naniniwala sa akin. TRUST is a big factor when it comes to a relationship and that is something na di ko na mkukuha sa kanya. We choose to stay on each other and I tried very hard to earn his trust again.

It’s not easy, there were moments that we throw words to each other and this topic would bring up. Nakakainis kung minsan pero mahaba ang pasensya ko at naiintindihan ko siya. Mahal na mahal ko siya, even if it means a lifetime of earning his trust gagawin ko, those dull moments are not enough to weigh in and compare the happy moments that we had to each other.

Yap I fuck up! But it doesn’t mean na wala akong pagbabago. Sa pinagdadaanan ko ngayon, parang sinusumpa ko na ang sex. Masarap nga pero nakakatakot. It is something that God created that should not be abused. Doing it with the right person is the best feeling that you can have.